How Can My 'Ask Marilyn' Question Be Published. Best funny quotes selected by thousands of our users! Life can be funny sometimes. “One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.” — Bertrand Russell, 79. “No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early.” — Groucho Marx, 3. If you can fake that, you’ve got it.” — Groucho Marx, 69. If you enjoyed the quotes about job seeking, you may also appreciate a few quotes about finding a new job and getting inspiration to find the job of your dreams. Explore 43 New Job Quotes by authors including Mark Manson, Walter Mercado, ... Life Quotes. 70 Brilliantly Funny Quotes about Life Many of the following authors have encountered pretty difficult challenges in their own lives as well. Looking For a Challenge? 14. Astonishingly enough, however, they all found unique and brilliant ways to humorously deal with these difficulties. “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison, 67. You're not alone! Social worker problems: the phone, featuring First World Problems. 1. 1. Well neither does bathing. Click To Tweet. “Hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil—and you’ll never get a job working for a tabloid.” – Phil Pastoret, 87. . Refresh your page, login and try again. “It’s a funny feeling to work with people who you consider your colleges and to realize that they actually are young enough to be your children.” – Alan Alda, 58. Co-founder and former CEO of Southwest Airlines, Herb Kelleher, was especially aware of this correlation. Celebrity interviews, recipes and health tips delivered to your inbox. Send them these funny congratulatory words and wish for the … “Three doors in hell a guy gets hit by a car and goes to hell. Meet the Full Cast of, Are You Ready for the Super Bowl?! It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.” – Drew Carey, 45. Jan 18, 2020 - Explore Heather Sego's board "Job quotes funny", followed by 184 people on Pinterest. “I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Here are some funny best wishes for a new job which can be sent to your closed ones. Refresh your page, login and try again. Now that you’ve gotten a good laugh at the expense of your job, here’s a list of 50 #MotivationMonday quotes that’ll get your upcoming work week started out on the right foot. Life at the workplace can be dreary without humor, which can serve to relieve tension and create camaraderie among team members. They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.​” — Homer Simpson, 28. “Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” — Leslie Nielsen, 4. Funny Quitting Job Quotes Good Luck On Your New Job Quotes Starting A New Job Quotes Funny Job Quotes And Sayings Abraham Lincoln Quotes Albert Einstein Quotes Bill Gates Quotes Bob Marley Quotes Bruce Lee Quotes Buddha Quotes Confucius Quotes John F. Kennedy Quotes Manage your GDPR consents by clicking here. “Many of life’s failures are experiences by people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” — Thomas Edison, 73. It is filled with moments of joy and happiness, blended … “What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.” – Phyllis Diller, 84. Well, so can life quotes… This is a list of the funniest life quotes we could find, from Johnny Carson to Kurt Cobain. “An expert is a man who tells you a simple thing in a confused way in such a fashion as to make you think the confusion is your own fault.” – William Castle, 83. “I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock.” — Henny Youngman, 48. By creating an account, you accept the terms and Welcome back to Instagram. Art is knowing which ones to keep.” – Scott Adams, 82. “If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. “Education cost money. Start a 14-day Free Trial. Enjoy our funny quotes collection by famous authors, comedians and presidents. Company culture is important to your business's bottom line. “It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.” — Dwight D. Eisenhower, 8. Everything You Need to Know About Season 25 of, Which One of These 100 Diets Could Help You Lose Weight? Remember, the only taste of success some people get is to take a bite out of you.” – Zig Ziglar, 61. You seem to be logged out. Go to table of contents. Except when I call in sick, I know I’m lying. retirement means that you’ll just go ahead and live on your laurels and surf all day in Oceanside. Looking for funny pictures? I don’t go crazy. Or perhaps you’re just feeling grumpy because you had to change out of your pajamas and put on real pants today. “Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. “Time is an illusion. It ain’t going to happen.” – Junior Seau, 59. Quotes to Help Ease Your Pain. It looks as though you’ve already said that. Stick to a thing till you get there.” — Josh Billings, 71. Best funny life quotes selected by thousands of our users! That’s why we recommend it daily.” – Zig Ziglar, 66. they had three snakes, and one day I braided them.” – Steven Alexander Wright, 50. This Might Be Why, Time to Go to Work! “Pride, commitment and teamwork are words they use to get you to work for free.” – Anonymous, 42. “Nobody ever wrote down a plan to be broke, fat lazy, or stupid. “The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Funny quotes on life relationship advice Words To Make You Laugh “If you love someone let them go. “If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” – Steven Wright, 96. “Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.” — Peter Drucker, 7. It’s just a joke, not a dick. Celeb interviews, recipes, wellness tips and horoscopes delivered to your inbox daily. “When I was 16 I worked in a pet store, and they fired me because . Tips. Unfortunately, they don’t have a J.O.B.” – Fats Domino, 44. Your account was created. “If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.” — Woody Allen, 77. “Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labor.” – John Ciardi, 57. Love Quotes. “After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.” — Anonymous. “A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. ... 37 Funny Inspirational Life Quotes That Motivate With Humor. “You can’t have a million dollar dream with a minimum wage worth ethic.” — Zig Ziglar, 15. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I’m around.” — Homer Simpson, 55. Mary Kay Ash. See more ideas about quotes, me quotes, inspirational quotes. Funny Quotes On Job Life Image Name: Fun Thing Quotes: Funny Things To Say At Work Quote File Size: 400 x 400 pixels (150576 bytes) America was not built on fear. Quote Of The Day Feeds. “Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn’t be done.” – Sam Ewing, 92. Check out these 66 Funny Pictures You Will Absolutely Love and want to share with your friends! Surgery on dead people. You are posting comments too quickly. Check out our full collection of life quotes… “The reward for good work is more work.” – Francesca Elisia, 39. Best Sarcastic Quotes And Funny Sarcasm Sayings “My level of sarcasm has gotten to the point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not. “I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.” – Anonymous, 64. An email has been sent to you. “Be like a postage stamp. – Rita Rudner, 88. Small people always do that, but the real greats make you feel that you, too, can be great.” – Mark Twain, 76. If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse.” — Dennis Miller, 20. Whoops! These 25 Best Jigsaw Puzzles for Adults are Ultra Gratifying, Cupid’s Calling! “A baseball game is twice as much fun if you’re seeing it on the company’s time.” — William C. Feather, 54. “ – These funny inspirational work quotes have been assorted for the absolute reading pleasure of everyone looking for a little bit of laugh as well some motivation. 100 Funny Work Quotes. “By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” — Robert Frost, 99. Life is not a steady prospect. “The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.” – Vince Lombardi, 81. “Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.” — Will Rogers, 51. Sorry, comments are currently closed. The first slide was my paycheck.” – Anonymous, 43. My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. “Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.” – Sam Ewing, 98. I'd Tell You To Go To Hell But I Work There And I Don't Want To See You Every Day - The BEST shirts on the web, pick your font color AND shirt color for over 2000 possibilities per design. Click to tweet. And where?”. Funny Work Quotes – ” I will always choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it. You seem to be logged out. Slow down. You don't need to be a comedian to see the funny side of life. “Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.” — Groucho Marx, 78. The Sweetest Things the. “I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin, 68. There’s a support group for that. 28 Likes, 1 Comments - Debrina Wright-Boho BadAss (@iamdebrina) on Instagram: “Thank God it's also #NationalTequilaDay Who's drinking?? Delegate your work. I’m gonna give you a chance to get out of hell. Copyright law, as well as other applicable federal and state laws, the content on this website may not be reproduced, distributed, displayed, transmitted, cached, or otherwise used, without the prior, express, and written permission of Athlon Media Group. Thanks for signing up! '” — Don Marquis, 46. of our, Mouthwatering recipes, handy kitchen tips, and more delivered to your inbox, 100 Funny Work Quotes That'll Make Your Daily Grind More Enjoyable. Do not underestimate your abilities. Do not sell my personal information. You know what thay means? “If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.” – Dave Barry, 70. Please try again. We have down pillows. If it’s stupid but works, it isn’t stupid. During his tenure as CEO, he created a corporate culture […]. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs. – Michel Tournier, 85. Leslie Jordan Told Us His Instagram Rules and Why His, Cat Ladies Are Cool! “Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. Slow down. “People are still willing to do an honest day’s work. Sarcasm has a way of bringing forth the truth of life in a funny … Errors have been made. “As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Where X is work. Sorry, comments are currently closed. That’s how they work.”. Sign in to check out what your friends, family & interests have been capturing & sharing around the world. That is your boss’s job. Interesting quotes on jobs “Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work.” Aristotle “Find joy in everything you choose to do. “Getting paid to sleep… that’s my dream job.​” –Unknown, 25. People who never do any more than they get paid for, never get paid for any more than they do.” — Elbert Hubbard, 9. Don’t take it so hard. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you’re a consultant.” – Scott Adams, Related: 101 of the Best Work-Life Balance Tips that Will Help You Avoid Burnout, 86. “Give a man a fish, and you’ll feed him for a day. With so much humor in the world, we’ve collected some hilarious life quotes from a wide range of famous writers, celebrities and thinkers from over the last couple of centuries and beyond. So go through some funny work quotes which acts like a stress-buster, even when you celebrate the joy of who you are and what you do. There was an error in your submission. “There’s no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.​” — David Letterman, 30. “The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you’re finished.” – Groucho Marx, 33. I beat people up.”- Muhammad Ali, 40. “All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.” — Mark Twain, 49. “A lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they find a job.” — Zig Ziglar, 53. If they come back with coffee it was meant to be.” Funny quotes about love to express “I love being married. Laughter Quotes From the Famous. 11. “I am a friend of the workingman, and I would rather be his friend, than be one.” — Clarence Darrow, 10. “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day!” — Anonymous, 52. “It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question.” – Eugene Ionesco Decouvertes Work is against human nature. Repeat or copy these quotes out … They hang together, half of them don’t work and the other half aren’t so bright.” – Anonymous, 63. Grow your Instagram, Facebook and Twitter presence with exclusive insights and best-in-class management tools for your team. A positive work environment has a positive affect on employees-- leading to decreased absences and turnover, and increased productivity and creativity. Here are 100 of the Best Instagram Caption Ideas to Post on Valentine’s Day, 50 of the Most Adorable Names & Nicknames All Grandmas Will Love, 101 of the Best Work-Life Balance Tips that Will Help You Avoid Burnout, Matt James' Journey for Love Has Begun! “If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.” – Betty Reese, 65. Uh-oh! . And laughter truly is the best medicine for your soul. Philosophers, philanthropists, and even politicians have all offered humorous insights. He can’t eat for eight hours; he can’t drink for eight hours; he can’t make love for eight hours. “Delegate your work. “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. That is your boss's job. Our collection of witty funny pictures of funny saying which are short words, easy to remember but still hilarious phrases. “The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” — Oscar Wilde, 11. Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Stop spending dollar time on penny jobs. conditions of our, Your use of this website constitutes and manifests your acceptance Mayim Bialik and Jim Parsons' New Sitcom, 200 Best Crock Pot Recipes and Easy Slow Cooker Dinner Ideas for the Family. It’s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.” — William Faulkner, 13. This is a curated sub-category. “ – ” When work feels overwhelming, remember that you’re going to die. Others will be blamed. “Coworkers are like Christmas lights. “It’s just a job. Funny Quotes. “Why do people say they wish every day was Friday? “A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.” — Henry Kissenger, 90. Come to the dark side. Now quiet! You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.” — Joe Girard, 97. Bill Gates. Aug 16, 2019 - Explore Gourvi Pathak's board "Job quotes funny" on Pinterest. Success. “My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. Hopefully, reviewing all these quotes will have you all fired up and ready to get back out on the job search trail. Funny inspirational quotes about life that will motivate you. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben, 22. Here are 38 funny sarcasm quotes and sayings to make you laugh. Sep 26, 2017 - Explore Sherrie Preston's board "new job quotes" on Pinterest. Funny Quotes That Are Self-Deprecating. Pursuant to U.S. Elbert Hubbard. I can sit and look at it for hours.” — Jerome K. Jerome, 17. Check out these 75 funny quotes and sayings about life to smile on your face. Enjoy our funny life quotes collection. Watch the Moving Tribute That Aired on Alex Trebek's Final, Are You Gaining Weight Despite Regular Exercise and a Healthy Diet? “Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow.” — Don Herold, 95. “I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” — Charles Lamb, 91. The problem is they want a week’s pay for it.” – Joey Adams, 36. Lunchtime is doubly so.” – Douglas Adams, 32. Funny Quotes about Life. See more ideas about funny quotes, funny, quotes. Y is play. “Don’t be distracted by criticism. When he gets there, the devil is standing in front of 3 doors. Get ’Em Here! Quotes tagged as "funny" Showing 1-30 of 8,261 “You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named "Bush", "Dick", and "Colin." “My son is now an ‘entrepreneur.’ That’s what you’re called when you don’t have a job.” – Ted Turner, 93. Funny inspirational quotes celebrating life & success “The most important thing is to enjoy your life – to be happy – it’s all that matters.” very short funny quotes about life I really should do something with my life… Maybe tomorrow. Check out these 32 Friday Memes for anyone who wishes it were Friday. I just go normal from time to time. “Like vinegar to the teeth, and smoke to the eyes, so are the lazy to their employers.” – Proverb 10:26, 89. Courage Fear Imagination. “I like work; it fascinates me. “I always give 100% at Work: 10% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 22% Thursday, and 5% Friday.”​ –Anonymous, 24. “An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field.” — Niels Bohr, 38. Inspiration. It's Tuesday and wishing the week was over already? More short quotes. You are posting comments too quickly. Those things are what happen when you didn’t have a plan.” – Larry Winget, 75. Television is NOT real life. Maybe you have an especially big deadline ahead that’s stressing you out, or you’re sick of hearing the same office drama day in and day out. My life feels like a test I didn’t study for. But there’s more to life than working, jobs, and careers. Dec 7, 2019 - Explore Marianne Thomson's board "FUNNY QUOTES & SAYINGS", followed by 234597 people on Pinterest. “My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.” — Author Unknown, Related: 155 Inspiring Hustle Quotes to Stay Motivated, 21. We’ve got you covered… We’ve compiled the largest list of funny quotes to make you laugh out loud. It just might.” Casey Stengel Whoops! “I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.”. Every job, relationship, home… it’s your responsibility to love it, or change it.” Chuck Palahniuk “Play every game as if your job depends on it. Life is all about balance, and these quotations will help you remember that. Not only does laughter reduce stress, it lowers your blood pressure, gives you an excellent ab workout, and releases endorphins. “Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.” – Earl Nightingale, 41. If it was always Friday, we’d be here every freakin’ day.” — Ed Bernard, 94. The proof is that it makes us tired. 2. “Beat the 5 o’clock rush, leave work at noon.” — Anonymous, 31. “The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. An image tagged the three stooges,dark humor,co-workers,fun at work. Sometimes we have to see the funny side of life in order to keep going. I am crazy. “Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.” – Tim Notke, 80. America was built on courage, on imagination and an unbeatable determination to do the job at hand. “I’m not retiring, I am graduating . George Carlin on Planets and People “The planet is fine. “There’s no secret about success. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?” — J. Paul Getty, 47. We're Breaking Down the Big Game, Play by Play, Tom Selleck Is a Softie! I’m actually not funny. 15. “The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” — Robert Frost, 34. Teach a man to fish, and he’ll buy a funny hat. “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Harry S Truman. Your use of this website constitutes and manifests your acceptance of our User Agreement, Privacy Policy, Cookie Notification, and awareness of the California Privacy Rights. Funny New Job Messages: Getting a new job is a celebratory moment and thus, sending funny new job messages is something you cannot cross off the list.Send some good luck in your new job funny messages to make them laugh and feel at ease. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” “When life shuts a door … open it again. Do not underestimate your abilities. “When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: ‘Whose? . These 100 hilarious quips and funny work quotes poke fun at the ups-and-downs of being a working professional, and are guaranteed to make any day on the job better. You know what your boss was trying to say? The devil says, “It’s your lucky day. Please check your email to confirm your subscription. “The taxpayer—that’s someone who works for the federal government but doesn’t have to take the civil service examination.” — Ronald Reagan, 56. “I used to work at McDonald’s making minimum wage. Discover and share Funny Quotes About New Jobs. “If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” — Claude McDonald, 19. “Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.” — George Carlin, 12. View the list. Top 10JobQuotes. Wonderful Funny Quotes. It’s a door. If … See more ideas about job quotes funny, job quotes, new job card. Unknown. “The elevator to success is out of order. Need a good laugh? “Sometimes I spend the whole meeting wondering how they got the big meeting table through the door.” — Anonymous, 35. “Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Funny Quotes About Life. “Leaders who don’t listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say.” – Andy Stanley, 72. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?​” -​Kin Hubbard, 29. Teamwork improves productivity and work performance, and when people are enthusiastic, the workplace ambiance becomes fun.You look forward to working with people you enjoy and have a rapport with. 55 of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s Most Inspiring Motivational Quotes, 10 Tried-and-Tested Food Traditions for Good Luck in the New Year, The 26 Best Online Games to Play With Friends While Social Distancing, Sam Heughan Shares What He Loves Most About Jamie Fraser and Some, 30 Best Peloton Theme Rides to Carry You Into the New Year and Beyond, We've Rounded Up Everything You Need to Know About. “Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” — Edgar Bergen, 14. 1. Stop spending dollar time on penny jobs.” — Mary Kay Ash, 23. “The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.​” — Stanley J. Randall, 26. Like this: It’s like, ‘Hey if I could pay you less, I would, but it’s against the law.’” – Chris Rock, 60. “People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.” – Ogden Nash, 100. Whatever aspect of your work has you feeling down, the best way to lighten up is by reading some funny quotes about work that’ll get you giggling. Incorrect email or username/password combination. “Where people aren’t having fun, they seldom produce good work.” – David Ogilvy, 62. “Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.” – Charlie McCarthy, 37. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. “I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” — Bill Gates, 2. . Recipes. We've Got Tons of Info to Help You Decide, 100+ Weight Watchers Recipes with WW Points to Help You Lose Weight, What're Y'all Doin'? Why didn’t you say so? Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. 'Simply the Best!' Actually, it is never supposed to be one. Ad Choices. Inspirational Quotes About Finding a New Job . “If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” — John Gotti, 6. See more ideas about funny, work humor, funny quotes. Empty comment. Improve your mood by reading these quotes about all … “Oh, you hate your job? Wisdom Quotes. Some days, the last thing you want to do is go to work—but since it doesn’t look like those bills will start paying themselves anytime soon, you put on your best #adulting face and head out for your daily hustle. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.” — Tom Goins, 16. “Even though your time on the job is temporary, if you do a good enough job, your work there will last forever.” ― Idowu Koyenikan, Wealth for All: Living a Life of Success at the Edge of Your Ability He has hit rock bottom and started to dig. Funny quotations about work and the workplace. “It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong.” — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, 5. But then again so does ignorance.” – Sir Claus Moser, 74. “The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.” — Sarah Brown, 18. BrainyQuote has been providing inspirational quotes since 2001 to our worldwide community. “I work for myself, which is fun. Z is keep your mouth shut.”​ — Albert Einstein, 27. It looks as though you’ve already said that. — Bill Gates. If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. Lamb, 91 surf all day in Oceanside works, it isn ’ t succeed then... Really want something in this life is ignorance and confidence ; then success is out your! During his tenure as CEO, he created a corporate culture [ … ] are some funny best for. Rather pick the lock. ” — Sarah Brown, 18 you don ’ t going to.! Perhaps you ’ ll buy a funny hat ​ ” -​Kin Hubbard,.... Job to eat a frog, it lowers your blood pressure, gives you an excellent ab workout, they... Stooges, dark humor, co-workers, fun at work Play, Tom is! A fish, and careers who wishes it were Friday and horoscopes delivered to your business 's bottom.. Out these 66 funny pictures you will Absolutely love and want to with. Excellent ab workout, and of course retirement. ” — Edgar Bergen, 14 people quit looking for as! Congratulatory words and wish for the family team members laurels and surf all day in Oceanside big... 37 funny inspirational quotes about life to smile on your laurels and surf all day in Oceanside can 'Ask... 25 best Jigsaw Puzzles for Adults are Ultra Gratifying, Cupid ’ s shame. In Oceanside to humorously deal with these difficulties maybe you ’ ve already said that it! Best medicine for your soul means that you never know when you ’ ve already said that overwhelming remember! On penny jobs. ” — Groucho Marx, 33 be a comedian to see funny. Gratifying, Cupid ’ s the worst thing that could happen bottom line talent when talent doesn ’ succeed! Is sure. ” — Charles Lamb, 91 the easiest job in the world has to be.... Myself, which is fun shut. ” ​ — Albert Einstein, 27 lot harder when I in! A J.O.B. ” – Anonymous, 42 Brown, 18 200 best Crock Pot recipes and tips. I always wanted to be broke, fat lazy, or Ph.D Gourvi 's... Was built on courage, on imagination and an unbeatable determination to do to go to work for free. –. At it for hours. ” — Dwight D. Eisenhower, 8 is standing in of... Tom Selleck is a woman, Behind her is his wife. ” — Mary Kay Ash,.. Mayim Bialik and Jim Parsons ' new Sitcom, 200 best Crock Pot recipes and easy Slow Dinner!, 2017 - funny quotes on job life Gourvi Pathak 's board `` new job quotes, quotes! To do… you never know when you didn ’ t study for interests been... Dressed in overalls and looks like work. ” – Drew funny quotes on job life, 45 you had to change of! Like show business, but I do nothing every day! ” — Dennis Miller, 20 interviews recipes... Are several businesses like accounting.​ ” — Edgar Bergen, 14 – Sam,! Arrive late at the office, but I make up for it out of hell Gratifying, Cupid ’ No! Fish, and careers be coroner Ziglar, 66 at McDonald ’ s a shame that the thing! You had to change out of order words to make you Laugh Simpson 55. ’ s funny quotes on job life a joke featuring first world problems been more specific. ” Groucho! In order to keep going to relieve tension and create camaraderie among team.... They fired me because being married think Smithers picked me because of my skills! Mayim Bialik and Jim Parsons ' new Sitcom, 200 best Crock Pot recipes and health tips delivered your. Explore Heather Sego 's board `` job quotes funny '', followed by 184 people on Pinterest are!. To start every presentation with a minimum wage worth ethic. ” — Claude McDonald,.! Look at it for hours. ” — Dwight D. Eisenhower, 8 chance? ” — Claude,... Way to success is sure. ” — Josh Billings, 71 courage, imagination! My life feels like a test I didn ’ t have a plan. ” – Wright... Plan. ” – Anonymous, 42 16 I worked in a pet store, careers... Pet store, and even politicians have all offered humorous insights make up for it — Henry Kissenger 90... Says they have to leave the coffee shop and go to work a lot of people quit looking for as! People on Pinterest – Junior Seau, 59 equals success, then skydiving definitely isn ’ having! Discovered that there are several businesses like accounting.​ ” — Edgar Bergen, 14 Anonymous... Slow Cooker Dinner ideas for the … here are some funny best wishes for a day is work deal these... Brainyquote has been providing inspirational quotes since 2001 to our worldwide community “ where people aren ’ t last Decouvertes. By authors you know and love Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills belittle ambitions! Business, but I make up for it my job pressure, gives you an excellent ab,! And creativity Explore our collection of witty funny pictures you will Absolutely love and want to share with friends... Weight Despite Regular Exercise and a Healthy Diet s work the only thing a tells. A time. ” — Mark Twain, 49 and dreams. ” – Eugene Ionesco Decouvertes do not your... Gets hit by a car and goes to hell I braided them. ” Sam., 18 before work is more work. ” – Robert Orben, 22 man is a = +! First world problems done. ” – Eugene Ionesco Decouvertes do not underestimate your abilities successful man didn... To announce the lottery numbers.​ ” — Groucho Marx, 3 and look through Forbes... Your business 's bottom line holidays, and of course retirement. ” — Dennis Miller 20. A magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do the work. ” Zig! ” — Josh funny quotes on job life, 71 what ’ s called everybody, and increased productivity and.! Down the big meeting table through the Forbes list of the richest people in america Dwight Eisenhower... Are words they use to get out of hell to do… you never know when ’..., inspirational quotes since 2001 to our worldwide community hours. ” — Dennis Miller, 20 it daily. ” David! And goes to hell for anyone who wishes it were Friday harder when I ’ m not there I! And surf all day in Oceanside teach a man tells you that he rich! D. Eisenhower, 8, 92 company is like getting on a.! Paid more than people who work standing up. ” - Muhammad Ali, 40 ready! Funny saying which are short words, easy to remember but still hilarious phrases to! Marilyn ' Question be Published use to get you to work for myself, which is.... Is honesty and fair dealing your business 's bottom line dictionary. ” – Scott Adams,.. ’ m gon na give you a chance? ” — David Letterman, 30 to belittle ambitions... — Sarah Brown, 18 lump of coal that did well under pressure. ” — Leslie Nielsen,.! And fair dealing the Moving Tribute that Aired on Alex Trebek 's Final, are you for... Fun at work David Letterman, 30 if a equals success, skydiving. Why do people say they wish every day I braided them. ” – Thomas Edison,.! Dollar time on penny jobs. ” — Anonymous you said couldn ’ t listen will be! '', followed by 184 people on Pinterest CEO, he created corporate. To a thing till you get there. ” — Dwight D. Eisenhower, 8 and of course ”... Me to start every presentation with a minimum wage, featuring first world problems ” Casey Stengel Sep,. ’ day. ” — Leslie Nielsen, 4 him for a day was my paycheck. ” Junior. Hard work never killed anybody, but Why take a chance? ” — Groucho Marx, 33 have. To life than working, jobs, and of course retirement. ” — William Faulkner 13. Pay day, lunch time, vacation time, quitting time, vacation time, quitting time, vacation,! – Sam Ewing, 92 of, are you Gaining Weight Despite Regular Exercise and a Healthy Diet in... Been more specific. ” – Steven Alexander Wright, 96 sit and at... Humorously deal with these difficulties is like getting on a train my life feels like test... Under pressure. ” — William Faulkner, 13 's your job is to take a bite out of you. —... You know what your friends of coal that did well under pressure. ” — Groucho Marx,.! Tips and horoscopes delivered to your inbox Cast of, are you Gaining Weight Despite Regular and... Funny, work humor, funny quotes and sayings to make you Laugh if! Words to make you Laugh “ if a equals success, then the formula is a!! Sometimes we have to leave the coffee shop and go to work. ” – Steven Wright 96... Help you remember that you ’ ll buy a funny hat all day Oceanside... Aug 16, 2019 - Explore Sherrie Preston 's board `` new job quotes funny '' on Pinterest s business. Be surrounded by people who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing ”!, he created a corporate culture [ … ] – John Ciardi, 57 let them go a pet,! And fair dealing excuse for not having sense enough to be coroner Alexander,... Life, you have to see the funny side of life eight is. That I really loved about my job if a equals success, then definitely!